


Hold Me Tightly

by theadventurouswriter



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Miscarriage, Soft Eve Polastri, Soft Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theadventurouswriter/pseuds/theadventurouswriter
Summary: Oksana and Eve were looking forward to beginning a new chapter in life together until one night.TW: Miscarriage
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Kudos: 52





	Hold Me Tightly

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like adding something tear-inducing to the soft Oksana collection. I’m thinking of those who suffered miscarriages, I’m so very sorry for your loss, you all have beautiful angels looking over you all. X

The IVF treatment was successful on the first go and Oksana was finally pregnant with her and Eve’s baby. The blonde woman was looking forward to starting her own family with the woman whom she loved immensely. She was determined to give their baby a much better life than she ever had at home in Russia. 

Oksana could not wait to hold her baby in her arms and love it with all of her soul that was buried within her. She wanted to be a mum. 

The pregnancy was going well until one night whilst the women slept. 

Oksana felt sharp stabbing pains in her abdomen which woke her up. Then, she felt wet and sticky moisture between her legs which soaked the bed sheets underneath her. 

She saw that something was very very wrong when she turned on the lamp without waking Eve up and pulled back the duvet to find bright red blood pooling between her legs. Oksana’s breathing began to get rapid as she knew that the blood was bad news. 

Oksana realised that she was facing the possibility of losing the baby she was so looking forward to carrying. Her eyes began to well up with unshed tears as she put her hand on Eve’s shoulder to wake the older woman up. 

After two shakes of Eve’s shoulder, the Asian woman opened her eyes to find Oksana looking distressed. Her eyes were glassy and her bottom lip was trembling as she looked at her. 

“Eve..” Oksana whimpered, close to crying as she showed Eve the bloody mess between her legs. Eve looked down and realised that Oksana was possibly losing their baby. 

“Oh Jesus..” Eve whispered as she swallowed thickly before combing her curly mane back. 

“I-I think it is the baby.” Oksana rasped, a sob choked it’s way out of her throat as she looked down once again. Eve could feel her heart breaking at the sight of Oksana. 

“Okay, I’ll get some clothes on and I’ll take you to the hospital.” Eve swallowed down her tears and told Oksana that she was going to take the younger woman to the hospital to check if the baby was okay. Eve felt that she wasn’t ready to face the worst. 

After Eve put on her tracksuit, she got some old towels and gently cleaned the distressed former assassin. She help Oksana into a similar tracksuit before taking her to their car and locking up the house. 

Oksana was deathly quiet in the car as she held onto Eve’s thigh which Eve returned the gesture by placing her hand on top of Oksana’s. The car trip to the hospital felt long despite being only ten minutes away. 

Eve supported Oksana by holding on to her back as they walked into the emergency department which a nurse took them in straightaway. 

The nurse did an ultrasound to check the baby with Oksana expectantly waiting for the heartbeat. However, the nurse moved the wand around to find the heartbeat. The room was deathly silent as Oksana and Eve strained to hear the heartbeat. 

The nurse’s grim expression on her face as she looked at the women before speaking. 

“I’m sorry to tell you that we could not find the heartbeat. Your baby’s gone, Ms Astankova.” The nurse said in a somber tone, Oksana looked at her as she broke the news that she lost the baby. After breaking the news, the nurse left the room. 

Eve felt her world drop when the nurse confirmed her worst fear, Oksana had suffered a miscarriage. She knew how much Oksana wanted to be a mother with her. 

Oksana’s face contorted into disbelief and then into grief as she took in the news. She then let out a heartbreaking wail into Eve’s chest with her hands clutching tightly at Eve’s sweater. Her face was flushed red with her eyes closed and her mouth open as she sobbed loudly. Hot tears were soaking the old grey University sweater Eve was wearing. 

Eve gently hushed Oksana as she comforted the distraught young woman in her arms. Her hands were combing through honey blonde hair as she hushed words of affirmation to soothe Oksana. 

After getting home from the hospital and cleaning up the bed, Eve held Oksana in her arms, close to her chest. Eve wasn’t going to go anywhere. She was just going to stay in bed and be with Oksana who was visibly hurting from the loss of their baby. 

“I lost our baby, I’m so sorry.” Oksana whimpered into Eve’s chest and in response, Eve held her tightly. 

“No, don’t be.” Eve hushed, she cupped her lover’s jaw as she kissed her gently on her forehead. 

“I’m a monster..” Oksana said sadly which Eve didn’t agree with what Oksana said about herself. Oksana wasn’t a monster, she was an innocent person who was hurt badly by those who were supposed to love and protect her. 

“Ssh, you’re not a monster..” Eve admonished Oksana as she stroked her head with her head as she reminded her of who she loved. 

“You’re my beautiful Oksana. I love you so much. You’re my world.” Eve stated in a loving tone. 

“Hold me tightly, please.” Oksana whispered as she buried her head in Eve’s chest, loving the comfort that her partner was giving her at this sad time for her. 

“Yes baby.” Eve whispered as she kissed the top of Oksana’s head while holding her tightly. 

Eve and Oksana held each other as they slept again. Oksana felt comforted that Eve was there for her during a devastating time for her. As much as she wanted a family with Eve, Oksana found home in Eve. 


End file.
